


hoax

by ghostadventurespiritorb (LadyScientist)



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: (kind of), 100 word drabbles, Aftermath of Violence, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Feels, Complete, Depression, Drabble, Drabble Collection, Drabble Sequence, Dreams, Dreams and Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gem Fusion, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicidal Thoughts, Nonbinary Steven Universe, Post-Episode s05e29-32 Change Your Mind, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sarcasm, Song: hoax (Taylor Swift), Songfic, Steven Universe Future, Steven Universe Has PTSD - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, True Drabbles, Unreliable Narrator, daily updates, i added all the tags at once so some stuff shows up later, i forgot about like half of the verse so y'all get a dream sequence, if you ship steven/pink steven get out of here, not a ship fic btw, pay attention to the pronouns though there's foreshadowing in there, post-episode: s06e13 together forever, steven universe is a fusion, they/them pronouns for steven universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-16 02:29:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 1,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29568939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyScientist/pseuds/ghostadventurespiritorb
Summary: Steven Universe hadn’t existed in over two years.You know I left a part of me back in New YorkYou knew the hero died, so what's the movie for?You knew it still hurts underneath my scarsFrom when they pulled me apart
Relationships: Connie Maheswaran & Steven Universe, Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe, Lapis Lazuli & Steven Universe, Pink Steven Universe & Steven Universe, Steven Universe & Everyone, Steven Universe & Steven Universe
Comments: 13
Kudos: 24





	1. you know i left a part of me back in new york

**Author's Note:**

> hey welcome to hoax! i came up with this idea last night and instantly wrote 6 chapters. this is definitely not as dark as some of my fics but still deals with some heavy topics, so mind the tags!

Steven Universe hasn’t existed in over two years. It was strange, they thought. This whole world felt so gray already, and the last day of his life had been gray too. And still, everything remained gray. They’d sigh, walking to the boardwalk, just another stretch of gray. Stars, they’d leave this all behind if they could. Not  _ life, _ no, they’d  _ never! _ Just… all the gray. 

Sparkling gray eyes. Dreary gray walks. Static gray marble floors. Their gray shadow always overhead. If they were to have learned they were a fusion, they’d have stayed together had they known they’d remain apart.


	2. you know the hero died so what's the movie for

Asking Connie to marry them and live as Stevonnie came as a surprise even to them, although they should’ve seen it. At the skating rink, they’d realized that Stevonnie still made them feel  _ whole _ .

… they hadn’t felt that way in years.

And finally, to Connie, it all came spilling out. Of course, she’d been there when they split. They told her how ever since that awful day, they’d existed as two minds in one, coexisted always simultaneously but fully separate. They didn’t want this anymore. Being a part of a fusion had been fun for Steven, but  _ he _ was dead.


	3. you know it still hurts underneath my scars

Telling the gems is… harder than telling Connie. Somehow, they feel like the Gems will… hate them or something? They know it’s ridiculous.

Steven… has scars from what White did to them. They’ve hidden them ever since the fountain. The gems never asked about them. And now they were finally learning. 

It would’ve been fine, if they hadn’t let it slip that… sometimes the scars really and truly hurt like the day they’d gotten them. The gems had forced themselves calm for the rest of the story, but knowing that they still  _ felt it _ … now they had the gems worrying.


	4. from when they pulled me apart

The gems want them to get help. Not that they need it or anything! Ok, they do: maybe keeling over in pain from “healed” injuries is something that needs addressing. The whole fusion thing would be nice to get some answers on, too. But they want them to go to Homeworld! Now that they’re back on earth, they’re  _ staying. _

The gems suggested seeing Yellow Diamond. Sure, most of her knowledge of fusions was from her old experiments, but they’re running out of options! Garnet is insistent, especially after mediation fails to help them reconnect. They’re unstable, they  _ can’t _ fall apart!


	5. you knew the password so i let you in the door

...They end up having no choice but to give in to the gems. They aren’t looking forward to the trip. Homeworld… remains the place of their nightmares. But it is true that they miss being  _ one _ . So Yellow Diamond it is. 

Her palace isn’t built for someone their size. The height of the halls drives in how small they already feel. 

It takes some convincing to get Yellow to agree. She insists that her days of fusion experiments are behind her. Pearl’s method of persuasion is a reminder of their status. Reluctantly, Yellow agrees to use her skills- for good.


	6. you knew you won so what's the point of keeping score

Yellow’s idea is risky at best and potentially disastrous at worst. The gems obviously hope for a good outcome, despite Garnet’s presentation of their odds. And of course,  _ something _ had to go horribly wrong. Steven has no idea what’s happening. All this feels so familiar, and he’s terrified of the reasons why that could be. He feels so…  _ lonely _ . What does that even  _ mean _ ? Everything is slow and muted, like he’s at the bottom of an ocean with waves far overhead. Yellow was… she was supposed to help them fuse back, it was supposed to fix him, fix his scars… 


	7. you know it still hurts underneath my scars (2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo thanks for 200 hits on my dumb drabble songfic thing, y'all get double chapters today as a reward <33

It’s not that Steven won’t fuse back now, it’s that they  _ can’t _ . Yellow Diamond’s attempt to under White Diamond’s damage failed in the worst way possible, sending them back to the beginning. The human half… he isn’t moving, won’t wake up. The split fusion they’d been had at least been better than this… they hadn’t been dying then.

The gem half is angry at Yellow. Despite her attempts to calm him, she’s forced to poof him to keep him from destroying the palace.

Steven is left split, their human half unconscious while his gem counterpart is poofed and not reforming.


	8. from when they pulled me apart (2)

It’s strange. With Steven split and both halves completely unresponsive, Yellow Diamond’s job is almost made easier. Finally, she succeeds in resyncing the gem and human. 

When they’d been in their previous “fused but separate” state, they’d been in almost the same baseline condition as they’d been their whole life, fused. But both times they’d been split now, both halves had almost died. Steven  _ had _ died. When a fusion splits, they don’t  _ really _ stop existing, but Steven isn’t exactly a fusion.

Yellow explains this to the gems as they wait for them to wake.

_ Things will never be the same. _


	9. but what you did was just as dark

The world is dark as Steven dreams.

~~Their~~ ~~his~~ ~~their~~ dreams have had a strange quality to them for the longest time: ethereal, vibrant,  _ real _ . Sure, there remained the occasional ridiculous Dogcopter dream, but the dreams that  _ meant _ something always carried that glossy coating.

This dream feels like Malachite, like the Cluster, like a Watermelon Steven, but everything is flat. The hues are pale, sickly, muted, and if they look at an object too long, it warps, dissolves,  ~~splits~~.

This dream looks like  ~~Rose’s~~ ~~his~~ ~~their~~ Rose’s room. 

A matrix of the too-real hiding the dark behind the dream’s curtains.


	10. darling this was just as hard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi i'm actually posting this late so for Actually Today y'all can have two chapters. that's three chapters in one day, have fun

They step forward into their imagined world.

...they fall flat on their face as their legs sweep out from under them.

Why is this so familiar?

...why is that so familiar too?

Where are they anyway?

In a dream such as this, the world doesn’t seem to want to be seen.

Walls and trees jump out of sight, leaving no sign of where you are.

But…

They push themself of a floor that doesn’t want to be felt.

They force themself to see where they are.

The illusioned location folds away.

The world is gray.

A bright light shines above.


	11. as when they pulled me apart

They’ve had too many dreams of this day.

But…

This isn’t just a dream.

This is themself telling them something.

They’re split again.

Steven gasps as he instinctively scrambles away from the dream version of White Diamond.

This is a dream. This is  _ just _ a dream. He can control this if he tries hard enough.

He pushes himself to his feet and runs.

It’s Rose’s room, it’s Malachite, it’s a diamond dream in a familiar palace.

The dream doesn’t want him to run.

But that’s just because of what he’s remembering.

...is his gem dreaming here too?

And he falls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just realized that this story is just a bunch of parallels that i've smashed together and called a plot, but that's what we love, isn't it?


	12. my only one, my kingdom come undone

And suddenly, without anything changing, they aren’t falling anymore.

They’re Stevonnie.

They’re Smoky Quartz.

They’re Sunstone.

They’re Rainbow 2.0.

They’re Steven.

Somehow, whatever happened, Yellow  _ fixed _ them.

They smile in the unfolding forest and finally sleep uninterrupted and peacefully.

They’ve always slept deeply, but today especially, after everything.

Yellow Diamond did it, she says.

The gems had been waiting for news outside her combination laboratory-office.

~~ He  ~~ they aren’t half fused anymore, nor are they split.

She has them back together, hopefully stabilized by her power for now.

They’ll still have to learn how to stay together on their own.


	13. my broken drum, you have beaten my heart

When Steven wakes up back in the beach house, they know that something is different. They no longer constantly feel watched. And then it hits them that whatever Yellow did  _ worked _ . They almost leap from bed but are hit by what feels like brief destabilization. They may be fully fused, but they still could come undone.

They try again. A more violent glitch comes, and he opens his eyes alone once again.

For the third time in his life, Steven is alone.

The gem moves past the bed to him on the floor and they fuse, laughing.

It… it  _ works _ . 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So to be clear, after CYM (in the canon of this fic) Steven had essentially been mentally unfused with both of their components having their own minds- like an unstable fusion, where it's two people in one body rather than an entirely new person. 
> 
> Now, they're a healthier fusion thanks to both confronting their trauma in that dream and yellow's stabilization (I don't have details for this, I just wanted a songfic lol: basically think of it as her applying her forced fusion knowledge to her form alternation powers), and they're now fused to basically the same point as they were throughout the series.


	14. don't want no other shade of blue but you

Being one person, not an “experience” after over two years, is strange. It’s not like they find themself doing things to an old habit. Everything’s just  _ different. _

They talk to Connie, to the gems. They don’t destabilize again, even when they learn that Yellow doesn’t think their scars can be healed.

~~ (Like Volleyball) ~~

It was White’s fault that these years were so strange, but now they’re finally getting better. 

They still fuse with Connie and the gems like before, but that feels dull. 

“I think I’ve had enough fusion for a while,” they say, explaining.

“I feel that,” Lapis says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> h in this house we love steven and lapis friendship
> 
> especially now that they have weird feelings about fusion, even if it's nothing at all like her experiences, i'd see them bonding.  
> also originally their scars were supposed to be healed but i thought introducing yet another parallel, this time to volleyball, would make a better message. i do feel like it's implied that the reason they'd been hurting was because of their fusion problems, so i guess we can say that that's fixed now at least. 
> 
> also wooo turns out i miscalculated the chapters so just one more to go!


	15. no other sadness in the world would do

Steven and Lapis’s unexpected common ground leads to them spending more time together at Little Homeworld. Steven discovers that they enjoy visual art as much as music, and take up Art Therapy with Lapis.

With an ocean view, Connie and Steven sit on the porch of the Beach House one evening. They talk for hours about everything they’ve been through. For a few moments they sit in silence before Connie shoots a question.

“So, I was wondering. If you feel like one person again, why do you still use they/them?”

Steven pauses. 

_ (After everything…) _

“It just feels right, y’know?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yooo i had so much fun with this fic!! the fluff at the end was so fun, maybe i should write more,,


End file.
